Fresh Rumors Corner

I wasn’t really permitted to study horror comics when I was a kid in the 1970s. I utilised to appear in the ones my ideal friend’s older brother had, and I was often
ogling them in the supermarket, but I by no means really read them.
But 1 summer season afternoon, when I was eight or nine, my aunt dropped by. She had found a copy of the Swedish edition of Marvel’s Tomb of Dracula #25 in a bowling parlor. She gave it to me, and that book was the 1st horror comic I actually study – and it produced a deep impression on me. The Dracula episode is the one particular that introduces private eye Hannibal King a Mike Hammer form gumshoe who has to fight Dracula and a bunch of undead people, and this story, by Marv Wolfman, has a terrific punchline: on the very final page, in the extremely last panel, hero King is revealed becoming a vampire himself! Master artist Gene Colan’s moody art was perfect for this, and as a little kid, I found the comic scary – for true.
To me, vampires are the ultimate evil beings. All they want is feeding on you. They could seduce you, but only to kill you, drink your blood, or ultimately enslave you. Vampires to me are not any misunderstood, tragic, suffering creatures – they are just plain poor. Evil!
Therefore, I do not like this new trend with vampire stories aimed at teenage girls the novels, films and Tv shows that are everywhere now. These stories are most of the time allegories. Vampires represent teenage alienation. And for the most component, the vampires aren’t genuinely vampires, authors and film directors mess with the mythology, and in most situations, what we have are sad humans with fangs and superpowers. And youthful girls adore them. Vampires are attractive. It really is cool to be a vampire. And I – an adult man and a prolonged time horror fan – don’t get it.
When TWILIGHT opened in theatres final year, I had no concept what it was. I hadn’t heard of the books, which is type of strange, because the books were a globe wide phenomena prior to the film. Positive, the target audience are teenage girls, but at least I should have heard of them.
Anyway, I didn’t know what to expect when I went to the press screening of TWILIGHT, and what I got was a pretty lame, uninspired teen flick about a lonely girl who falls in adore with a strange guy who turns out to be a great vampire who does not kill humans. In spite of getting quite weak film-sensible, TWILIGHT was a big hit and manufactured stars of the young leads Kristen Stewart and especially the quite strange seeking Robert Pattinson – I keep in mind the audience laughing out loud at the press screening when Pattinson’s character Edward Cullen manufactured his entrance. What the hell, is he supposed to appear like that?!
The sequel NEW MOON is the most anticipated film of 2009 – or ever. As a matter of reality, it really is broken STAR WARS EPISODE 3′s record youngsters have been asking for and pre-booked tickets to NEW MOON for a number of months now.
And now it really is right here. The girls are ecstatic. Finally! Edward and Bella are back!
Yup. They are back. And that’s quite significantly it. I could in fact end my review here, given that totally nothing happens in NEW MOON. It’s like a two hour episode of EMMERDALE FARM with vampires and werewolves, and it really is a bore fest among bore fests.
For some reason, Edward decides he can’t be with Bella any longer, so he leaves the town along with his great vampire family members. Bella is sad for numerous months. Nevertheless, Jake Black – the native American (that’s Indian to my European readers) – is in really like with Bella, and she doesn’t know what to do.
The evil vampires from the 1st movie return, but lo and behold: Jake turns out to be a werewolf and protects Bella! Not only that, he as well decides to leave her and moves into a cabin in the woods with his all male wolf pack.
Meanwhile, the sad Edward has travelled to Italy to commit suicide there’s a bunch of old, effective vampires with mullets who live there and spend their days sitting on thrones, and often Dakota Fanning shows up as a small vampire girl, and these guys have the power to kill other vampires. They are like the jury in American Idol. So Bella travels to Italy, and…
Yes, I know, I know – I don’t belong to this movie’s target audience. I’m 25 years as well old and a man. But that does not matter. The young audience will most likely lap this up, but they should really demand a thing greater than this extremely poorly produced film.
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON is an insult. It goes on forever it really is 131 minutes and very slow moving. Most of the operating time consists of poorly written, embarrassing dialogue. There’s hardly any action at all and not much of a story. And it really is all a bit strange and confusing, because the TWILIGHT mythology is a mess.
And then we have the wolf pack. Oh, my god, what the hell is that? For some explanation that’s in no way explained, the muscular Jake Black begins walking close to bare chested, wearing very brief jeans, hunting type of like Lou Ferrigno as the unbelievable Hulk. He’s also gotten himself a tattoo (of a pizza?) on his arm. Why? Why does he walk around half naked? Don’t ask me! And it is winter! And that’s not all – as mentioned, he’s moved in with these other guys in a cabin in the woods, and guess what: they all dress like the Hulk! What is this? Jesus, it feels like a tribute to gay icon, artist Tom of Finland! It is insane! I didn’t know if it really is supposed to be funny, but this is hilarious! I laughed my ass off!
There’s more hilarity. There are numerous scenes exactly where Edward walks towards the camera in slow-movement, and there is one brief flash-forward with Bella and Edward operating in the woods in slow-movement. NEW MOON is unbelievably close to currently being a turkey. It really is also deadly serious, there is no attempts at intentional humor (which is kind of funny) aside from a single scene taking spot in a film theatre, and the CGI werewolves are AWFUL. If you have ever needed to see a film in which the Cookie Monster wrestlers a vampire, properly, right here it is!
I heard that Edward is hardly in the book on which the film is primarily based. And yes, he leaves rather early on in the film. But hey, the audience wants to see Robert Pattinson! He need to be in the film! How did the filmmakers resolve this problem? Like this: Edward shows up every now and then like a ghost – yes, he’s like Obi-wan Kenobi.
TWILIGHT was quite bad but watchable. NEW MOON is awful. The only factor I liked in it, was Billy Burke as Bella’s dad. Especially given that he has a moustache.
But I guess it doesn’t matter what I create here. NEW MOON is going to slaughter the competition at the box workplace and break records. The audience desires to appear at pretty boys for two hours. It does not matter if the boys do not have anything to do in the film.
I hated NEW MOON.